Matthew 8:23-27 (NIV)
[23] Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. [24] Without warning, a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. [25] The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!” [26] He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. [27] The men were amazed and asked, “What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!”
When the storm suddenly appeared rocking the boat and the world of Jesus' friends, they turned to Jesus, crying out for his help. With a word he caused the storm to diminish, the wind and the waves calmed, bringing peace and calming the fears of his friends.
I have been through storms, times in my life where everything was uncertain, where emotions were rising high and low, yet I have also known the peace of God in the midst of it and the calm that comes after the storm.
Never have I been through anything like the storm I'm in right now, but never have I experienced a peace and confidence in God like I'm in right now.
Yesterday, on the 19th of october 2011 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Today I sit in the hospital waiting for surgery to remove the offending lump. I'm scared, unsure of what the future holds and have so many questions going round my head, everything is happening so fast, but there is an unusual peace, a reassurance and many reasons to celebrate.
I found the lump 4 weeks ago, and from then I knew with certainty that it was breast cancer. Experience with my step sister, my paranoid internet research and a gut feeling told me as much as the worried looks of the doctors.
It's been a turbulent couple of weeks, but what I've experienced most has been an amazing sense of peace, of calm in the storm. I truly believe that God is holding me tight in the centre of this storm and giving me the strength to endure. Since the very beginning I have felt a purposefulness in this storm, not that God has caused or allowed this but rather that He will use it ultimately for his glory, as I share the story of the love of God and the peace and strength He has given me.
Already there has been cause for joy, firstly that I found the lump early, that it is small and contained to one breast. I'm home now, following surgery today, as I continue to write this, I'm fairly pain free and feeling well, and of course there's the other fun of having blue pee!
I'm not entirely sure what the next few months will look like, but I'll be updating this blog, so please check back to keep up with how I'm doing. But whatever happens I face it with confidence that God has me safely wrapped in his arms and he has provided me with phenomenal family and friends to keep me sane and smiling.